Let's catch up, shall we?

Hello readers!

I won’t even try to explain where I’ve been for the past 2 months… but just know it’s involved a lot of books and hours spent in the computer lab and quizzes and tests and blah blah blah. I’ve basically given up on blogging regularly and have come to accept that as reality. BUT- I do get a chance to jot down random ideas from time to time as things occur, and the next few blogs (however sporadically they’re posted) will probably revolve around past events.

First up- the washer.

Our amazingly beautiful washer and dryer were hands down my greatest craigslist find to date. I picked them up in San Antonio, shortly after arriving back in the States, from an Air Force family who was in the process of moving. They were about 4 years old at the time, in superb condition, and I got them for about ¼ of what they would cost retail.

High efficiency, great condition, pretty color, with fun lights to watch and buttons to push? Ahhhh… love.

Now, as a set they’re beyond incredible, but really- the washer is my true love.  I honestly miss having a clothes line and wouldn’t mind using one full-time. (Nothing beats the smell of sunshine.) But in the apartment world, they’re frowned upon. So the dryer definitely serves its own important purpose. But the washer makes me happy like nothing else. After hand-washing in Botswana for 2+ years, I get downright giddy every time I fire up that beautiful blue beast and consider it a prize when the clothes come out all clean and fresh. (No bleeding hands required!) We had a lovely, perfectly functional relationship… up until about 5 months ago.

Suddenly, the washer turned on us. After all the loving compliments and singing of praises, it began to throw what can only be explained as tantrums.  The drum which once handled bulky comforters and sheets and towels with no problem whatsoever began thumping and bumping and trying to walk across the floor during nearly every use! If even one t-shirt ended up on the wrong side during the spin cycle, look out! After dealing with it for a few months, we finally called Sears. And after some consideration of our options, we chose to go for the 1-year warranty contract that basically covers any and all maintenance expenses for the year it’s in effect. So we scheduled a service call.

Unfortunately, it happened to fall on a day I was at work, and it didn’t end as planned. The technician apparently showed up, did a load of laundry, and everything worked absolutely perfectly. (Of course.) After months of memorizing the sounds and movements of the washer and going so far as to set the timer on the microwave to dart in there just in time to avoid it walking across the floor and upsetting the neighbors… Frustration doesn’t even come close! We’d already shelled out the cash for the year-long warranty, and I vowed that even if I had to take a HAMMER to it, we would get our money’s worth!

So then we got busy with the semester and all of this went on the back burner. We continued to set the alarm on the microwave and generally deal with it. And then one night, I jotted down this little nugget:

“Leo has sent me to the bedroom to cool down. He walked into the apartment and found me yelling obscenities at and threatening to kill the washer. And you know what? IT DESERVED IT. It continues to be off balance and drive me insane with every cycle. I would take pleasure in launching it off the balcony, to die a quick and painful death on the pavement below, and then claim innocence tomorrow morning when our neighbors find the carcass. But unfortunately, Leo is much too level-headed to help me with the murder… Not only is the machine stupid, it’s sexist, too! It goes all nutso 100% of the times I start it, but Leo has a much better track record. Therefore he doesn’t fully understand when he walks in to find me cursing like an especially foul-mouthed sailor or whispering “I will kill you” to it after I’ve had to open the lid and rearrange clothes for a THIRD time.”

Yeah.

It wasn’t pretty.

For a while, we resorted to turning off the spin cycle all together. Do you know how WET clothes come out when there’s no spin?? Definitely not an ideal fix. So eventually, we scheduled another service call. On a day I would be home.

And that’s when Mario entered my life. Mario, my new BFF from Sears. He was in the apartment for literally 5 minutes and knew exactly what the problem was. The suspension was shot. Up until that point, I had no idea washing machines even HAD suspensions, but apparently there was a lot I didn't know. He dealt with all of my ridiculous questions, passed on all sorts of knowledge and hilarious stories from his 25 years on the job, and most importantly: FIXED THE WASHER!!! There was jumping up and down and cheering when it hit its first spin cycle without incident. After months of tense relations, our friendship had been restored. We were on good terms once again, and I apologized for ever fantasizing about its death.

I gave Mario probably the best online review of his life, and Leo, the washer and I lived happily ever after.